Waiting for the light.

Why is it all the people who have been saying all along that you will get told so much by everyone and everyone will think they know best are now telling me what to do like their way is the only way and just because their kids older than mine they must know everything right?? (not everyone is like this and thank you to those who are truly helpful and not judgmental)

I'm going to try so hard to maintain (in this blog and more so in day-to-day life) that I am not harsh or critical with telling people what to do with their children. I will try hard to not make my opinion and my ideas to sound like the only way or make others feel like their choices with parenting are useless/the wrong way.. Make people feel like I'm right with my thoughts and am trying to pressure everyone.

I have chosen not to co-sleep.
I have chosen to breast-feed, which isn't working out.
Whatever the reason my be..
I feel I know my body best to determine what the problem may be.. and I've talked to so many 'health professionals' and they are all saying the same thing so that must count for something right?
I will soon/eventually choose to solely bottle feed.

I love people who co-sleep, I wish I could sometimes!!
I feel greatly for the people who can't breast-feed..
And wish I could produce so much that I could give to those people also!

Just like career choices, friend and partner choices.. Everybody's decision is different and often very personal so why does parenting come under so much scrutiny? It's so exhuasting and makes me want to cry.

Sometimes I just screw asking people for advice and have a look on the internet and oh hold up, I've often found it contradictory.. You almost have to pick one website and stick to it, don't branch out you'll only become more confuzzled!! So I could turn to books but how do I know which one's right for me?!

It's okay so I just find it easier to not think about all of that and just plodge along and just hope I'll see the light in this tunnel soon! I'm sure this has a hundred bends in it and I wont see the light until the very last minute.. that'd be the way. I just need some encouragement!

So maybe other mum blogs are a great way to look for help and information. I mean hey, that's what I'm trying to do! Give one side of the story, give my events and happenings and how I went about it, or maybe more like how I didn't cope with this and what did and didn't work. Hahaha well, you know how it goes!

So I stumbled across these two blogs:
Three Little Princess 
I follow her on twitter, she also has a cute little The Shed section!
I quite like that bit!
Be A Fun Mum
Just stumbled on this one but it has heaps of helpful resources.
I love resources, a true teacher ;)


TLP talked about this AMAZING book on her post 'The book that stopped me crying'.

Now I've already scrolled and read a lot of her posts so it confuzzled me a lot that I didn't come across this sooner but hey this is a perfect 'better late than never' moment. If I never found this post I may not be here in a month.. The mental asylum would surely take me as a serious patient by then!!

This couldn't come any sooner as I have been pulling my hair out (well, it's actually falling out and going bald in spots!) today he just would not stop crying so I left him to it and thought if you're that upset about who knows what well you can feed yourself. Now he can't hold his bottle properly yet so I propped it up under a blanket and his mini girafee toy. He just looked so cute I had to take a picture! I never really stay annoyed for long!

So he cries when I enter the room but settles once I'm near. Cries when I leave the room. Cries if I don't keep looking at him heaven forbid I look away for longer than 15 seconds. This makes it all so difficult to prepare his feeds, even if I do it before he's awake and just need to heat it. I still have to leave him :S So it's making for a very stressful mum Doesn't help he's had a few days of three 10 minute naps. Very testing work it is to be a mum, that's for sure!

-

Here's a bit from BAFM - Sacrifices
This blog post rung true to me and has given me the most perfect, spot-on encouragement that I need at this point and after the weeks and days I've been having!


Motherhood. It’s filled with so much joy. Incredible really. But there is also a lot of sacrifice involved. And I can tell you, I felt it especially when my children were little...

1. What you eat can affect pregnancy and breastfeeding.
2. When you eat depends on when you have a spare moment (and sometimes you hide in the pantry to eat a piece of chocolate so you don’t need explain to a 2-year-old, why they can’t have some).
3. What you wear depends on how much vomit and snot you are prepared to have on a particular outfit.
4. When you dress you need to allow for breastfeeding and looking after little children. This means dresses are sometimes out…and dangly earrings, and long hair left out, and necklaces, and rings, and a lot of other things.
5. When you sleep, and how long for, depends how sick your children are, when they are teething and a myriad of other reasons.
6. What you do and where you go depends on how settled your child is and a million other variables.
7. The home needs to be child proof, and is rarely tidy when you have a toddler tearing around pulling everything out.
8. You can’t go anywhere without a huge bag filled with mumsy things.
9. You can almost never sit down for a more than a few minutes, even when you’re trying to have coffee with a friend.
10. You’re constantly (absolutely constantly) responsible for keeping another person alive.
11. Sometimes you feel like a machine, always providing for the needs of other and cease to exist as an individual person.

Boy is that true?

(go and read the whole post if you have time!!)

She finished with this:

So, if you’re in the midst of raising little kids, feeling weary and my story rings true to you, I’m telling you from the other side: What you are doing is vital, even when no one notices. It’s an investment, so keep on keeping on and keep on loving the moment. While it may not be clear now, you’ll look back and see all the moments for what they are: pieces of a beautiful masterpiece.

I think I love her.