Flimsy routine

Hi OneMumsJourney!
My name's Sarah. I'm from Glasgow and have just stumbled across your blog! Just wondering how your day is structured with your little one? I am just demand feeding but want to try get into a routine! Help? I've had a bit of a nosey through google but just can't seem to find a lot. Many thanks and happy blogin'!


Sarah, UK - 09:43:46 PM, Monday 06, June 2011 BST

Thanks so much for your email! You don't know how exciting it was to see I had mail for the first time!! I'm not sure I'll be any help though, so here we go.

I chose to adapt the feed, play, sleep kinda thing. They say to feed your baby once he/she wakes up and you get her out of bed - change his/her nappy and then play time or short awake time (depends how old your bub is?) - then swaddle and into bed when you see a tired sign (anything from rubbing eyes, yawning, making fists, grizzling, looking away from you).

It's all about what works for you and your baby. he/she might not like the way you do things. .  One way is you could note down how your day goes (feeds, sleeps etc) and see if there's already a loose structure. I try to have fixed times (which I keep feeds as close to the chosen time as much as possible) but if my wee boy wakes up early or stays up a bit longer then I just roll with it hahaha :D

A great easy breezy day goes a little bit like this:

7:30am - wakes up
Nappy change and then breast-feed
(I tend to change first as he has a bit of reflux so this helps!)
Has a play in his bouncinette
I sterilise his bottles for his formula top up (my low milk supply)
Swaddle
Bottle feed him and he tends to fall asleep straight after 25ml*
9am - asleep!

11:30am - wakes up
Nappy change
Hops under his play gym for tummy time while I sterilse and make his feed of 50ml
Swap over to his back (he gets impatient on his lil belly)
I try to make lunch and/or play with him!
Swaddle
Breast-feed then bottle top up
Let him sit for 5-10 minutes to let his tummy settle
1pm - asleep!

4pm - wakes up
Nappy change
Hops under his play gym while I once again sterilse and make his feed of 75ml
Swap him to tummy and play with him etc :D

Swaddle

Breast-feed then bottle top up*

5:30 - asleep!

7:30pm - wakes up
Has a play in his bouncinette and play gym after
Meanwhile I get everything ready if I haven't in between feeds (bottles 100ml, bath etc)
Bathtime!
Blowdry (with hairdryer he loves this and gets him dry fast and kept warm!)
Massage
Swaddle
Breast-feed then bottle top up
9pm - asleep

~**~

Then it starts all over again! Sometimes I dream-feed depending on the day and how much he drunk. Sometimes he can be silly and wont have a lot and sleeps more and some days he has extra big feeds. If it's been a busy stressful day he is so tired he wont drink much for his last feed so then I'll give him the top up so he doesn't wake.

* - They suggest to not feed to sleep as they associate the two together so often I just wake him up again as I'm putting him into bed. Turn his mobile on, give him a firm kiss and say Goodnight baby quite loudly. Someone suggested this so they then see they're in bed (and don't worry that they're now in a different place an mums no longer there) and then put themselves back to sleep. Seems to be working for him so hey :D

See my next post for nappy changes with a reusable nappy - cause he's a serial wetter so I need to do them a bit more often while he's awake. Good luck Sarah and whatever works works, sorry I'm no big help but it really is a trial and error cause what works for one mum and bub might not work for the other! :D

Boobs and Bottles!

The debate over breast-feeding and formula is crazy!

I still can't believe how it wasn't even mentioned during my pregnancy. I think there is a great amount of information (and pressure) out there to breast feed how to's and such but just what happens if you can't or like me, have a low milk supply. Then what. .  Starve them? No. You have to use an alternative - formula.

I don't see the harm in it. Yeah, comparing it to breastmilk there is a bit of an outweigh but still formula does have it's pros. I wish I could fully breast fed as opposed to mix feeding him but I did have to stuff it up. People say to eat but don't give you reasons why you should. I'm the kind of person that if told "If you do this then you wont have to deal with that. And if you have to do that there are all these problems . . ." How time consuming is buying (or lately, finding) the formula you have chosen, preparing the feed and sterilising the bottles beforehand, having pre-boiled cold water!! So exhausting. Sure makes for a well thought out dreamfeed. I took for granted just popping a boob in that's for sure.

If only I had been told. Hey, Melissa just so you know there's a thing you can have called a low milk supply. Now some people just get it and it's their body. But you, you're going to struggle with feeding and eating. .  looking after yourself. You're not going to find time and boy, it sure is hard to, but you need to. If you don't you wont have enough milk to feed him. If you're lucky you'll spot it before he looses weight. He wont sleep properly because he's hungry. He'll cry lot's. Oh and you know that little time you had. .  where you could maybe eat but will decide to sit there in thought or just blob watching tv until his next feed (you'll probably fall asleep) well, instead you'll be using that very little time to now prepare bottles and the bottle feed for him. So now you really have less time to yourself and very VERY little time to eat.

. . . . . Now that you have very VERY little time to eat your milk supply will decrease even more.. it'll slow riiiight down as you'll have less and less calories and energy to burn . . . . .

Great. A never ending circle.

- ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ -

On positive news I have discovered an AMAZING wrap. It's called the miracle blanket. Here's one place you can get it from - the sleep store! (click!!) They also have great sleeping information for newborn to pre schoolers. My lil button no longer can get out of it! It's great because there's still so much room for him to move in it (pediatrician approved!) and it's not tight at all. So easy to use, no velcro, no nothing! So easy peasy. This will make a few things easier.

Oddly he hasn't been feeding or sleeping a lot in the last 48 hours. I've put him down to bed today a whole hour early (great as he was starting to take an hour longer at the night feed) and he drunk almost as much as he normally does (boobs and bottle) before he fell asleep. So cute.

I love breast feeding him and just wish I had of known EVERYTHING about it all beforehand. But that would have been too easy hey?

I take it back.. kinda.

Actually I consider myself pretty lucky that I have a man who wants to be so involved in his son's life and is forever asking how he can help the both of us. So officially from today until Monday when he goes back to work I've given him full reigns. All I'm doing is occasionally helping to swaddle him and express so his lordship can still have the goodness of what breast milk I do have.

So no more having to wake up to dreamfeed and deal with his stubbornness of taking a bottle (such a gamble weather he'll take to it or not!) Boy am I lucky. 4 days rest (well, 90%) which is more than the 10-30% rest/break I was getting before. Also this'll make him expert-ish so he can easily step in!

Happy? Yes.

What I'm not glad about (beware: TMI!) is the blood that has no end!!! Doesn't help with the expecter post birth bleeding, a mirena put in and now having a biopsy the bleedings just not going to stop is it?!?!! It also doesn't help that I STILL (3 months later) have stitches.. and it sticks out a bit and is just the littlest bit red as it gets wiped and squashed being in the place it is. I have delayed dissolvable stitches since an episiotomy wasn't enough and my body said hey let's just tear a little bit further anyway for the hell of it! So the doctors said the part where it teared needs that little bit of extra time to heal..

I can't wait until this bit ends.

The only thing that I'd like to do right now...

So I'm back. .  not that I've ever left. I mean right now I'm sitting in the same chair, using the same laptop (funnily enough) wearing the same clothes with the same problems. I think it's safe to say that the only thing that I'd like to do right now is run away. In saying that give me a few weeks and I'll look back to now and think "well.. that wasn't so bad really. ." . . .  Poo's I was really hoping to surprise myself! I'm going to try my best at being honest. Mainly because I feel as if I was told white lies of sorts about motherhood and/or I just looked in all the wrong places for information to make it a fairly informative experience.

As we all know there's no 'one fit' model but by golly I really wish there was some sort of. .  mold. I said to my partner how bloody brilliant would it be if they had Sim like meters on their stomachs or something and it fell off after 6 months like the umbilical cord. .  or just faded like washed out watercolour paint. . ! So the meter would rise as he was eating showing he was getting fuller, another meter would rise the more wind he had and you had a tired meter so you'd know if he'd had enough sleep!

Now for certain I know I'm not depressed of sorts (but maybe I am, hey there's no shame!) but I just feel like I have actually tried everything. I have been to a family centre where they help with feeding and sleeping problems. Only thing, although they were brilliant and found that I had low milk supply, I have just seen little change in him. Many people go there in one day and they have about 5 staff on. Now I don't expect them to all stand around my son and I the whole day but they unfortunately aren't seeing his true colours (I'm sure he thinks "Oooh these people feel important I better be good!" *grin*). So I've decided I can do it on my own. Maybe not a good decision but one nevertheless.

I've tried every wind medicine, Weleda colic powder was the most effective! But it's just not having the same effect anymore. He's sleeping but then not. For example today he slept for 2 hours between 12:30pm and 8:15pm!! Now I know the whole debate over bottle or boob is endless but to be honest after a week of using formula to top him up I found he slept deeper (was forever light REM) and seems happier and looks healthier. I know some mums would lecture with the 'breast is best' opinion but in mine I feel what works is best for you and your baby.

Ever since I mentioned that I was mix feeding suddenly everyone else seemed to confess that they were also doing so or had moved onto formula as their babe was always hungry (one girl not realising that you can increase your milk supply with naturopathic remedies and medication - motillium) it was really surprising but reassuring. I think because it's hardly talked about and has been made into such a negative action to turn to (or for some people to begin with..) everybody's scared they will be judged. But hey if it helps mum and baby to be happier and healthier then why not. . ?

So anyway back to depression (If you hadn't realised I'm a hopeless writer/talker and often miss the point as I get hideously side tracked and then forget where I was going with things, but really I'm just venting and typing mindlessly so that I feel something's coming off my shoulders since these knots wont!) I don't think I am as the family centre checks for this and each time I did the test they said I was getting a smaller score each time, a bit like golf I imagine. I don't feel like if I'm left alone with the cheeky boy for too long, or by myself I might hurt him/me. .

I just wish I could actually leave things for a week and just come back. Really who's saying I can't? My partner sure has said that I should go for a little break away for a night or two, I could express a bit (although very hard with still having a low milk supply) or he could just formula feed him. But there's no way you can leave a baby behind. They completely rely on you and their world revolves around you (and dad and maybe other siblings also!) and I just don't want that to change. .  and I love him and just think really why I would but sometimes I just think things would be easier without him (please don't get me wrong here) but then if I was "without him" then I wouldn't need to get the things done that I need to get done. .

Gaaah so hard to explain. Let me think this through and I'll try elaborate on these feelings and thoughts.

Well I'm going to go prepare his bottle for a dream feed. Lets hope tonight goes a lot better and he sleeps through the night - the first time in a month! It just feels like he'll never go back to doing so. .

Here's something to send you on your way.. I know more or less I'm just blogging out into space, but it's easier than yelling into space. I have to save the little energy I've got.

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for ~Author Unknown